Sunday, December 28, 2014
It's sunday morning and....
IF it's true that I am created in God's image, doesn't that make Saturday a totally ME day? It's in The Book!
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Paul McFarlane unfilterd
Hello, my name’s Paul McFarlane. You don’t know me, unless you’ve seen the latest, soon-to-be-released monstermegamothahflickin’ indie “Buddy, coming of age?” flick from Gemini Productions, unlimited and locally owned,
THE BUCKET LIST CALIBER ROAD TRIP
will soon be coming to you in the form of a book. That’s right, I said B-O-O-K. Pick one up and read it sometime.
You’ll be glad ya did.
My motto is, get this, <HACK!> uh… <throat-clearing> pardon me…<hocks a loogie>.....my..my motto, uh...is…??? Shit, what’s my motto? Anyone? Seriously?
Hey, guys, here’s a thought…. What if we’re running an underground medical marijuana distribution network? No, David, hear me out for once, okay? Thank you! ...a medical marijuana distribution network to get POT TO THE POOR! <that’s POOPR.COM> Think about it and get back to me.
Alternatives. That’s our theme, People, right there. O, Lord, I think I may be GAY! Imagine, finding that after all these years…..
The Good Old Days and the dilapidated infrastructure by which it stands -- one nation... among many with misery and injustice for all -- is crumbling around our ears, pardon the cliche. Grids are going glitchy, moments before going out, and the surface of the Earth rumbles with the Dance of the Macy’s Christmas Sale searchlights brushing randomly over Her face.
Questions? You got questions? Anyone? Seriously? That's my time, thank you, we'll be here all week, take care now, bye.
Where were you born?
I’m a Ding Dong Daddy from Dumas, baby! June 5th, 1948. I never open Birthday or other greeting cards that don’t contain money or reloadable plastic, okay? Save us both some time and trouble down the road, right up front. SHOTGUN!!
.
Opening Draft
Novel notes, Christmas wk, Sunday, December 21, 2014
No ‘This Day in Texas History, children, the mean ol’ cat ate
our interweb.
On the morning of the Winter Solstice Romex gnawed through several small yet critical wires in the electronics bay at The Wilderness.
”.We’re dead on The Interweb.,” David announced at large from the lookout seat. A laptop sat open on a small shelf in front of him. “Why are we off line?”
“We’re dead on the side of the Great Information Highway,” Paul, David’s near life-long friend, answered from below, “because some critter or critters unknown chewed through several bits of wiring. We’ve lost the wifi satellite receiver, the router and the cell phone charging station.”
“Are you shitting me?” David responded. He flashed on a mental image of dinosaur carcasses lying stiff-legged and limp on the sand.
”I wouldn’t shit you,” Paul replied. “You’re my favorite turd.”
“Can you fix it?”
“With what shall I fix it, Dear David, Dear David?” Paul responded, singing in a rich baritone. “With what shall I fix it, Dear David, with what?”
“With a patch, Dear Pauly, Dear Pauly.” His own voice still had its tenor lilt to it. “With a patch, Dear Pauly, Old Pauly, with a patch!”
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Come Saturday Morning
Plan of the Morning ~ Plodding on in Comic Sans MS
a rather heavy font, w’at?
Morning meeting ~ Name the apocalyptic threats to be
used in this novel.
Midwinter. Who’s got the pipe?
Considering we’re setting in Texas, I’d say
**Climate Change, the direct affects? Or
is it effects, Teach?
Temperature increases
shifting growing regions/cycles
drought
storm intensification
Changing the Oceans’ “Mix”
Changing the Atmosphere’s Mix
Immigration
flora & fauna together moving
across the Earth, searching
out habitable zones.
Economic Shifts
market cleansing, evolution
Political Quakes & Tsunamis
in which Congressmen, Senataurs,
Governors and Red Guard Republicans
in general are flushed down the tubes
once and for all…
...we hope.
Civil Convulsions
Paul: [speaking in Droid Serif, today, btw] And you wanna tackle all that without hitting and shooting and stabbing and, generally, extreme failure to use inside voices?
David: The violence level hasn’t been set. But at whatever level, of course there is going to be rip-roaring mayhem, not to mention raping & pillaging, more than likely….
Paul: Now you’re talking my kind of movie!
David: The question becomes, then, how much play do we give to violence?
Paul: Sometimes it’s good to kick a little ass. Did we ever find that pipe? Anyone care to profile me?
Announcing My WBC Book List
Our Week Before Christmas Book List
as of 6:53a, the morning of the....<pregnant pause>.....what is it? The 20th day of December, right?
Who's got the pipe?
HELLO! Welcome to the release of our first sometimes annual WBC Book List. May I have the envelope, please? Thank you. No matter how BIG you think you are, yer never toooooo big for "Please" and "Thank you"!
The First Edition onto the first WBC List is By Cunning & Craft!
Is Bea back yet? Anybody know?
I heard she's back. Seems she got delayed moving mass quantities of Christmas Red & Green, some kinda foul up with the scales? I dunno.
I mean, what do we know about this dame, see?
Who's got the damn pipe, people?
Friday, December 19, 2014
Follow Through Friday, Dec. 19
Plan of the Morning ~ The Friday Follow Through, carrying on from
yesterday.
December 19, 1832 ~ San Antonio is the first community
to the legislature of Coahuila and Texas.
The character formerly known as “Nick” (who the hell knows
where “Nick” came from, anyway) will be played by Paul
“Spanky” McFarlane, David’s sidekick since first grade..
Paul: “Spanky”?? Really??? You know I’m sensitive
about my rolly-polly good looks.
From the Road Book!
If fiction is a lie, it’s a lie of a special order,
it’s a lie that tells the truth.
By Cunning & Craft
What matters most is story, story, story!
Peter Straub
“I was so deep in Old Baptist Religion” David said,
“I farted Amazing Grace!”
ADF
“How far is it?” Paul wanted to know.
Me an' Paul
(also known as ‘Gemini’)
David Forest & Paul McFarlane interview:
[DAVID SPEAKS]
Willie did not write that for us, but it damned well could be about us.
Mom, can me an’ Paul go to the store! Mom, me an’ Paul need two dimes!
Uh, Mom? I...I….I got a note from the teacher about me an’ Paul. She says you gotta sign it, and I gotta bring it back to her.
Me an’ Paul are going camping for a few days, Mom. Can you front us some gas money?
Me and Paul will be fine, Mom. It’s just for a couple or three months.
Paul “Spanky” McFarlane and I were born seven days and a couple hundred miles apart. I’m May 30, he’s June 7 which makes me the older brother. He entered this world on the Staked Plains of The Panhandle. I was born right here in River City on the sagging underbelly of the Rolling Plains. We met, me and Paul, in Mrs. Humphries’ first-grade classroom at Thomas Jefferson Elementary School.
[PAUL SPEAKS]
I can’t remember David not being in my life, can you?
[DAVID] You saying you don’t remember life before grade school?
Paul: What’s grade school? And who you calling “sidekick?”
David: What do you mean, dean?
Paul: On the Plan of the Morning today, you referred to me as --and I quote--The character formerly known as “Nick”..... will be played by Paul “Spanky” McFarlane, David’s sidekick since first grade..
Where the hell did you come up with Nick, anyway?
David: Placeholder until I could come up with a suitable alias. Your welcome.
Paul: Thanks for the name change, by the way. And what about the sidekick thing.
David: Well, that’s what you are, my sidekick. My Pat Brady.
Paul: Pat Brady!?! Couldn’t I be Dr. Watson? Why do I have to be the sidekick?
David: I did not write that you are “THE sidekick”. There is no The Sidekick in Gemini. We each sidekick the other, brother.
Paul: So you’re my sidekick?
David: Hope to shout.
Paul: You didn’t write it that way.
David: No need to. Reader will catch on.
Paul: Maybe Reader would get it quicker if I was your wing man.
David: Are you CRAZY!?! There're no wing men in WESTERNS!
Allen David Forest, Protagonist
Font is “Comic Sans MS”
December 18, 2014
On this day, 1860 ~ Texas Rangers raid Comanches at Mule
Creek and re-capture Cynthia Ann Parker.
Allen David Forest Profile
protagonist
Born Allen David Forest on May 30, 1948, at County General Hospital, River City, Texas. First-born son of Joseph Frank Forest and Mary Ann Sanford Forest.
Gemini, May 21 ~ June 20
J.F. Forest ~ Merchant Marine seaman and engineer after
divorce, 1957. Saw his son about once a year thereafter.
Most of his half century at sea was in support services
for geologic oceanographic surveying and off-shore drilling
logistics support.
Mary Ann Sanford ~ Youngest child of Kate Ellen Saunders and
Walter Peter Sanford. Devote Hardsell Primitive Baptists,
he a deacon the last half of his 85 years. He was a
journeyman carpenter/cabinet maker; she a homemaker.
Attended grade school, 1 thru 6 grade, at Thomas Jefferson Elementary, showing early interest in and aptitude for history, reading, writing, music, creativity.
Davy is a charmer and something of a class clown who gets
along well with others. His reading skills and comprehension are
advanced for his age as is his command both written and oral
English. Shows little interest in mastering arithmetic beyond
minimal standards for his grade level. Spends considerable
time daydreaming.
Mrs. Rose Bugbee, 6th grade teacher
Attended River City High School, 1963--1967, graduating in top 5% of his class and accepted into National Honor Society, Nation Quill & Scroll Society. Active in theatre production (Best Supporting Actor 4 years), newspaper staff, persuasive speaking, choral music. Senior term theme “The Tragic Fate of Cynthia Ann Parker” accepted for publication in the Journal of Texas History.
1967 ~ Ran off to join the carnival with his “brother” (by a different
mother) Paul “Spanky” McFarlane. Made the rounds of shopping center parking lots throughout the South.
1969 ~ Enlisted in the United States Navy upon receiving his draft notice. Successfully completed basic training at Naval Recruit Training Center, Orlando, Florida; sent to Washington, D.C. for one year of language school (Arabic); six weeks basic electronics surveillance training, Goodfellow AFB, Texas; TOP SECRET CRYPTO cleared; assigned as a Communications Technician, Interpretive to Naval Communication Station, Rota, Spain.
1973 ~ Reenlisted as CTI-3, sent to Russian language school, Monterey, Calif., promoted to CTI-2 upon completion; assigned to U.S. Embassy, Nicosia, Cypress. Reenlistments followed in 1977, 1981 and 1985 until retirement in 1989 as Chief Petty Officer.
<to be continued>
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