Opening Draft

Novel notes, Christmas wk, Sunday, December 21, 2014

No ‘This Day in Texas History, children, the mean ol’ cat ate

our interweb.

On the morning of the Winter Solstice Romex gnawed through several small yet critical wires in the electronics bay at The Wilderness.

”.We’re dead on The Interweb.,” David announced at large from the lookout seat. A laptop sat open on a small shelf in front of him. “Why are we off line?”

“We’re dead on the side of the Great Information Highway,” Paul, David’s near life-long friend, answered from below, “because some critter or critters unknown chewed through several bits of wiring. We’ve lost the wifi satellite receiver, the router and the cell phone charging station.”

“Are you shitting me?” David responded. He flashed on a mental image of dinosaur carcasses lying stiff-legged and limp on the sand.

”I wouldn’t shit you,” Paul replied. “You’re my favorite turd.”

“Can you fix it?”

“With what shall I fix it, Dear David, Dear David?” Paul responded, singing in a rich baritone. “With what shall I fix it, Dear David, with what?”

“With a patch, Dear Pauly, Dear Pauly.” His own voice still had its tenor lilt to it. “With a patch, Dear Pauly, Old Pauly, with a patch!”

< Paul & David sing >

Me an' Paul

Me an’ Paul

(also known as ‘Gemini’)

David Forest & Paul McFarlane interview:

[DAVID SPEAKS]

Willie did not write that for us, but it damned well could be about us.

Mom, can me an’ Paul go to the store!  Mom, me an’ Paul need two dimes!

Uh, Mom? I...I….I got a note from the teacher about me an’ Paul. She says you gotta sign it, and I gotta bring it back to her.

Me an’ Paul are going camping for a few days, Mom. Can you front us some gas money?

Me and Paul will be fine, Mom. It’s just for a couple or three months.

Paul “Spanky” McFarlane and I were born seven days and a couple hundred miles apart. I’m May 30, he’s June 7 which makes me the older brother. He entered this world on the Staked Plains of The Panhandle. I was born right here in River City on the sagging underbelly of the Rolling Plains. We met, me and Paul, in Mrs. Humphries’ first-grade classroom at Thomas Jefferson Elementary School.

[PAUL SPEAKS]

I can’t remember David not being in my life, can you?

[DAVID] You saying you don’t remember life before grade school?

Paul: What’s grade school? And who you calling “sidekick?”

David: What do you mean, dean?

Paul: On the Plan of the Morning today, you referred to me as --and I quote--The character formerly known as “Nick”..... will be played by Paul “Spanky” McFarlane, David’s sidekick since first grade..

Where the hell did you come up with Nick, anyway?

David: Placeholder until I could come up with a suitable alias. Your welcome.

Paul: Thanks for the name change, by the way. And what about the sidekick thing.

David: Well, that’s what you are, my sidekick. My Pat Brady.

Paul: Pat Brady!?! Couldn’t I be Dr. Watson? Why do I have to be the sidekick?

David: I did not write that you are “THE sidekick”. There is no The Sidekick in Gemini. We each sidekick the other, brother.

Paul: So you’re my sidekick?

David: Hope to shout.

Paul: You didn’t write it that way.

David: No need to. Reader will catch on.

Paul: Maybe Reader would get it quicker if I was your wing man.

David: Are you CRAZY!?! There're no wing men in WESTERNS!